I found the software. I guess I didn't look hard enough. I can't seem to make it work. I have exactly the setup described in the original post. It seems to me that there is no connection between the Uno and the RN-XV. The Uno RX/TX pins don't connect to the RN-VX. Also it looks like the GPIO pins on the RN-XV are not all connected to the relays (just relay 2&3). I have a sparkfun Xbee Explorer that I used to setup the RN-XV. I have no problem communicating with the RN-XV via wifi from my mac. The breakdown appears to be between the Uno and the RN-XV.
Hopefully someone can straighten me out.