i cant really trust the data in the sheet says it runs at 220ma, but i only measure 20ma.
No. It says that if you run it at 220 mA then the forward voltage will be about 4.1 volts.
According to section 6 of the data sheet you can apply +5 V directly to pin 15 which implies that there is a current limiting resistor on the pc board. You have indicated that you found a 68 ohm resistor on the board so everything looks ok so far.
According to section 5 of the data sheet the LED will typically drop about 4.1 volts if it is drawing 220 mA. With a 5 volt supply this condition would occur with a 4 ohm current limiting resistor. Although LEDs are nowhere near linear the fact that your resistance is more than 10x this value and your current is about 1/10 this value looks ok as well.
The bottom line is that if your backlight is bright enough and its current is less than 220 mA you are safe. Don't forget that you are probably powering all of this from your Arduino and its available current is really quite limited so the less you use for the backlight the better off you are.
Don