Hi, I did mine using a MAX232 IC to the ATMega 328 on a breadboard..
Here are some items to check/troubleshoot :-
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Make sure the Rx/Tx pins are correct... Pin 2 (RX) & 3 (TX) on the chip
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DTR connected to Pin 1 for "auto reset" with a 0.1uF capacitors ( not sure why... )
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Speed should be 57600 for uploading..
If DTR is not connected, try to press the reset button a few sec after pressing the Upload button...
Not so sure about the crystal tho..
Hope this helps..