XBee Shield to make slow universal USB Extender

Is there a board or shield to make it a USB master?

Yes. But, in general, you need to write drivers for whatever you want to master with it.

Surely you can write a bit of data to the USB port... As a slave?

No. You can write stuff to the serial port, which is connected to the USB controller chip on the Ardiuno and which can communicate with a PC via a USB cable.