Uno passes loop-back test, but upload fails

I'm quite sure it's genuine; it's got all sorts of fancy printing (including the outline of Italy next to "Made in Italy"), and generally looks legitimate.

For good measure, I tried Duemilanove ATmega 328 and Nano ATmega 328. No improvement.

I see you're thinking hard though, and looking for clues in what I wrote! Is there any other info I could provide to help?