How to get the JY-MCU bt board to work

I'm using a Pro Mini. Right now all I'm doing is changing the color of xmas LEDs. I would love to figure out how to make an Android app for that, and there are open-source BT-terms for Android, but I just don't have the time right now. Eventually I want to allow "file-playback" to make the LEDs do all source of color movement, lightning effects, etc...and while I could do that from my phone as well, I'd rather have my house server doing it even when I am not at home.

I got it to work (once) again, but every time I need to connect to it to change the color it's like pulling teeth. Once connected it works great until you exit my color-change app, unplug the BT dongle, reboot the PC, or reset the Pro-Mini. After that I have to use RealTerm, plugging/unplugging the BT dongle, unpairing/repairing, etc...until it finally starts working again. Sometimes I only see one serial port, other times I see 2 or none. The Arduino IDE never sees the port that works, only the one that doesn't, but I have not got it to program over that. How does it even decide just not to show a COMPort that is free and working?

I have not been able to test with Android term past receipt because both of those I tried only send ASCII, but I need to send 0xFE 0x00 0x00 in HEX as my key byte for the next "frame" of RGB values.