Clean, straight-forward MPU-6050 code

it too is ridiculously long.

That particular piece of code is actually well written. It's well structured and well commented. In particular, the use of all the defines helps make the code more portable and more readable / maintainable. That's how one is supposed to have written code pieces in C - I would have put it in a .c/.h file for that's for another discussion.

The actual code being executed are towards the bottom, if you wish to live with magic numbers - a very bad way of programming.

The device is i2c, so it can be easily coded as such. A 15 minute job, max, if you want to roll your own.