By cutting the Auto Reset Enable jumper you have disabled the Auto Reset feature. The only way to upload when Auto Reset is disabled is to manually reset. Perhaps you could put a pair of pins where the Auto Reset Enable jumper was and jumper those pins when you want to upload.
My understanding is that you need to reload the arduino after uploading a new sketch not that you need to do a well timed reset while uploading the sketch.
With RESET-EN cut I need to release the reset button when I see the first "avrdude: Send: 0 [30] [20]" to successfully upload a sketch.
bigmagu:
With RESET-EN cut I need to release the reset button when I see the first "avrdude: Send: 0 [30] [20]" to successfully upload a sketch.
That is correct. The processor needs a reset by the reset-en or the reset button to start the bootloader. You have chosen to disable the auto reset, so now you must do that manually with the reset button.