Thanks lefty, unfortunatlly it didn't help much. first upload with max232 worked but others didnt work.
even when i uploaded it i got this:
avrdude: verifying ...
avrdude: verification error, first mismatch at byte 0x003b
0x00 != 0x80
avrdude: verification error; content mismatch
avrdude: Send: Q [51] [20]
avrdude: Recv: . [14]
avrdude: Recv: . [10]
avrdude done. Thank you.