thx.. for the answers..
in post #1, its hard to tell looks like d1 & d0 is wired ? <that's different from mine>
I followed Arduino Playground - HomePage, nothing is connected to d0/1/2/3
i guess my next step is to wire up the 8bit, and then try 4bit..
-could it be that something gets loaded in 8bit mode that allows 4bit to work?