I took the second (good) ATmega 8 and using these intsructions for a 16 MHz X-tal:
i made a hoes for SUT0 and the rest i letted free. The result:
PonyProg said "write failed", i thought "this is really bad...", BUT it was possible to erase, after erasing i wrote again with all fuse-fields free.
And now the surprise: back to the Arduino the LED blinks only one time! So, i thought i was lucky maybe, but i get the same error now...I become crazy.