Well, I snapped.
I ran to Walmart and bought a router. Working with the airport express just wasn't cutting it. So my router doesn't have internet connected to it- but setting it up and following the tutorials, adjusting my code for the new router and forwarding the ports and...
SHABANG! IT WORKS!
When I pressed the button on my ipad screen and saw the blue led connected to pin 6 turn on- I about flipped out like a little kid I was so excited! I even set up a slider to dim the LED with PWM, and it works real-time like a charm! THIS is the big hurdle I have been looking forward to clearing.
SurferTim and Zoomkat, thanks so much for helping me work through this. Even though I ended up getting a different router in the end, your posts still got me to know what to do once I got it! This is a very ambitious project, so I am sure you will see me again sooner or later. Thanks again guys!