mysteredding:
tell you what Nick, you gave me a hell of a step in the right direction, plugging the crystal in and whatever capacitors im using(22j ceramic) which im guessing are the 22pico i needed read the chip found out yea it has a bootloader on it, im gonna try all i can to get this to work now, and thank you very much for having so much patients with me even tho my attitude was less than deserving of it, and i saw how busy you were helping everyone else, i really do appreciate everything you've done
Glad to hear you are getting closer. You could take the fuse readings it would have provided and compare to the calculator here:
http://www.engbedded.com/fusecalc
That might give a few clues. If the divide-by-8 fuse is set, then the bootloader might not work properly.