zigaRupret:
well i kind of solved the problem.
i was googling the whole day and find that the problem must be in parallel programmer or on computer side(WinXP SP3), and that nobody actually solved the problem.i threw away the parallel port and order a professional programmer, since this is not solvable
I came to the same conclusion several years ago. After fighting with a homebrew parallel programmer, I gave up and burned it up in the back yard (well I felt like it) and spend $19 for a USBtiny hardware programmer kit from Adafruit. It is supported directly by the arduino IDE and works great first time and every time sense.
Lefty