Cool, so it's a SAM3X8E! http://www.atmel.com/devices/SAM3X8E.aspx
Its highly integrated peripheral set for connectivity and communication includes Ethernet, dual CAN, HS USB MiniHost and device with on-chip PHY, high-speed SD/SDIO/MMC, and multiple USARTs, SPIs, TWIs and one I2S. The SAM3X8E also features a 12-bit ADC/DAC, temperature sensor, 32-bit timers, PWM timer and RTC. The 16-bit external bus interface supports SRAM, PSRAM, NOR and NAND Flash with error code correction.
Yeah!
The only thing that annoys me is this crappy microUSB plug... But it seems I'll have to accept that and buy more cables 