Eclipse IDE C++ and Serial.begin()/print/whatever wants to destroy my life

You need to include HardwareSerial.h:

#include "HardwareSerial.h"

You may need to include a path in front of the file if it's in a different location. For example in my setup I need to use

#include "Arduino/HardwareSerial.h"

as I've built the Arduino library in an Arduino folder in my workspace.

Iain