What's the 32.768kHz crystal for, are you using the Low-Freq Xtal Osc as the system clock?
I have the 10K pullup on the reset pin too, that should not pose a problem. I'm using the standard Uno Optiboot bootloader. Actually I'm using westfw's beta, but should be same difference for this purpose. Standard Uno fuses too:
uno.bootloader.low_fuses=0xff
uno.bootloader.high_fuses=0xde
uno.bootloader.extended_fuses=0x05