OK, is the arduino robot connected to the laptop via serial port? I can help with the serial software:https://sites.google.com/site/terminalbpp/
This free software has a couple rows of buttons on the bottom that you may customize. If you want a button to read "LEFT" and send "L" to arduino, you can. You can tell the person that the software is to control the robot and monitor robot debug info so not just buttons floating over video, but buttons and a screen to display info from arduino. Then you rescale a video screen to occupy the rest of your screen. Not perfect but totally existing and free. There are other terminal programs that have customizable buttons FYI. I use these buttons to test my phi-panels. If you want an integrated solution, you will have to go with Processing and coding in Java-like style and find a good video library. Last time I did it I was stuck with only one library that only worked with PS3 eye cams. That was before Processing 1.0
FYI, Arduino IDE is borrowed from Processing IDE.