Top suggestion: Get an USB adapter. They are quite cheap. Should save you tons of time if you get one with auto-reset capability (RTS/DTR).
If you use the built-in RS232 ports of your mainboard and they are enabled in the BIOS,there is nothing to be 'magically' recognized. Any recent OS supports those right away. There will also be NO "new hardware found" event for anything connected to them. The way you have it wired up now, there is also NO auto-reset. This will make uploading code quite tedious, maybe even close to impossible.
The absolute minimum for hassle-free upload is:
RX, TX, RTS (or DTR), GND.
thanks so much for your suggestion! it help me a lot
turns out my bios settings for serial port were disabled
now my arduino IDE shows ttys0 in the tool>serial port(serial port in linux)
but there still there is a bug
when i select 'arduino diecimila or duemilanove w/atmega168' in tools>board and try to upload blink
it gives the following error :
avrdude: stk500_recv(): programmer is not responding
also my auto reset is working fine because i see the LED blinking when i connect the serial cable.
what could be the problem?