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Topic: Funny Gripe Responses (Read 1 time) previous topic - next topic

dkl65

In case you need a laugh: Remember, it takes a college degree to fly a plane but only a high school diploma to fix one.

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "Gripe Sheet" which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.
The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the Gripe Sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor.
Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.


P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute Descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny...........
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.



And the best one for last ..................


P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.
Visit http://www.glenof.webs.com/!

dropdeaddick

Funny but http://www.snopes.com/travel/airline/squawk.asp

Coding Badly

Quote
By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.


It's definitely 1988.  Yeah.  Definitely 1988.

CrossRoads

"Remember, it takes a college degree to fly a plane"
Doesn't quite jive with solo a motor driven plane at 16, license at 17, here in the US anyway.
Designing & building electrical circuits for over 25 years.  Screw Shield for Mega/Due/Uno,  Bobuino with ATMega1284P, & other '328P & '1284P creations & offerings at  my website.

alexhb

ooooooh, I'm all out of breath now... those are great!  XD
"#define QUESTION ((bb) || !(bb))  - Shakespeare."

dkl65

I got those from a chain mail sent from my friends. I hate chain mails, but this one was pretty good.
Visit http://www.glenof.webs.com/!

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