I thought the auto reset would work as the newer boards have this built in.
again thanks for your input.
They do, but it is part of the USB-Serial converter built in. If you are using xBees, then I presume you are bypassing this?
Maybe you could do a quick sketch of how you have wired the xBee to your board.
Also, you said you tried changing the Baud rate? This is programmed into the xBees as well as the bootloader, so if one of the xBees is 30feet in the air, how did you set it to the faster 57600 baud rate required?