Try ZH line of JST connectors.
1.5mm pitch, SMT or thruhole.
Then just use an adapter for the ICSP programmer.http://www.digikey.com/product-detail/en/B6B-ZR(LF)(SN)/455-1661-ND/926568
The thru holes end up narrower due to not having side wings to help secure them on the board.
10.5mm vs 12mm width needed.
These are 2 eagle libraries I created for vertical headers (if I grabbed the correct files).
Another advantage of thru hole - you can put the connectors on the bottom of the board, mount the SMT parts on the other side, and free up a lot board space.
This particular board has a part that needs heatsinking, the mechanical engineer has the casing that goes underneath all set up so the hot part mounts against the case.
This board has a 6-pin 1.5mm SMT, you can see the legs that stick out and one of the mounting ears on side.
Also seen are 2 pin and 4 pin thru hole parts. The thru hole crystal makes for a good size comparison.