I could make an android, windows and mac program or i could make a internet site... what do you guys sugest.
The internet site has the advantage that I could turn your lights on while you are sleeping. No, wait, I mean that you could turn your lights on and off from any device that incorporates a web browser. No need to write a new program every time you get a new device.
Also what programming languages would i have to learn?
C++ and a little about html forms. Certainly a knowledge of client/server architecture, and what that implies, would be useful.
(labview is also an option).
You have labview on your phone?
The moment i pres a button (hardware or software) i want near real time response of the attinys if possible.
I'm not sure how you would connect an ethernet shield to an attiny. Even if you could, instantaneous reaction is an unrealistic expectation. It takes time to convert the data to a usable message on the PC/phone side, to transmit that message to the ethernet shield, to get that message to the Arduino/ATTiny, to decipher that message, and to implement the instruction(s) contained in that message. We're not talking minutes, here, but we are not talking instantaneous, either.
i dont really want to use an arduino with ethernet. I prefer a computer as server. or even a raspberryPi
You want the PC to act like a raspberry pi?
With the PC as the server (or the raspberry pi, in case it was just a word order mismatch), you still need some way to get the user-intent to the Arduinos/ATTinys. How is that to happen?
Now i want you guys to say what is the best/easiest/... software(s) to do it
To do what parts? There are parts that involve HTML. There are parts that involve getting data from the server to the MCUs. There are parts that involve using that data on the MCUs.
please give advice or say if it is possible for a guy aged 17 and a half
No, I think you need to be at least 17 and three quarters.
Of course it is possible. Age has little to do with willingness to learn and experiment.
i have litle programming skills
By the time you get done, this will no longer be true.
and if necesary i want to learn them better
It definitely will be.