how can i flash the led's as I am using the delay(250) to run the motor; is there a better way
The most important principle you need to follow is to design your sketch so that it does not need to block (i.e. stop and wait for something to happen).
The way to achieve this is to design your sketch so that the code in loop() checks for things that may need to be done, and does whatever may be needed. If something doesn't need to be done (yet), loop() continues checking the other things. Loop is called repeatedly, so anything that doesn't need to be done yet will be checked again shortly. For this to work, none of your code must take very long to complete, where 'very long' is relative to how often you need to check everything else.
The 'blink without delay' sketch demonstrates how to use this approach to perform actions on a timed basis but doesn't explain how fundamentally important it is that you you do this.
The use of a non-blocking design also impacts the structure of your control logic. In a blocking design, you can implement a sequence of actions and events by writing code that takes an action and waits for the expected event; where you are in the sequence of actions/events is implicit based on where you are in the code. This doesn't work when you use a non-blocking architecture. Instead, you have to use variables to record where you have got to in each sequence. Usually, this would be implemented as a state machine. For example, your description suggests a state machine with the following states:
Initial (waiting for the initial switch input)
Advancing (waiting for the 1000 ms elapsed time to pass)
Advanced (waiting for switch input to start the rotation)
Rotating (waiting for 3000 ms elapsed time to pass)
Rotated (waiting for 10000 ms elapsed time to pass before starting the reverse)
Reversing (waiting for 1000 ms elapsed time to pass)
At each step the code would need to check whether the required time has elapsed, or the expected switch input has arrived, or whether it is time to toggle the state of the LED to make it blink. Individually, each of these are very simple to code. When you bring them together into a state machine you can produce very complex and powerful behaviour.
An easy way to implement a state machine is to define a set of constants defining the states, a variable holding the current state, and use a switch statement to test for the events that are relevant to each state.