First of all: NOW IT WORKS!
The Micro operates like a Leonardo so you will need to define a new programmer to use the arduino protocol instead of stk500v1. Create a programmers.txt in the sketch folder \hardware\microfix\:
arduinoispmicro.name=Arduino as ISP on Micro
I've done this already.
I modified the ArduinoISP sketch to use D10 instead of SS:
#define RESET 10
I used the modified cable to connect the breakout reset line to D10 on the Micro.
I was able to successfully load sketches to a tiny85.
This was the last part of this puzzle.
By using the special MISO, MOSI and SCK pins on the top of the arduino micro (near the reset button) and connecting digital pin 10 to RESET of the tiny, the orignal ISP sketch worked with changing the RESET definition from SS to 10 as you said.
I was able to flash the tiny and the blink sketch seems to work (the delay is longer then 1000ms (around 5000ms) but that's another problem).
Many thanks for your efforts, I'm so happy that it works now
Edit: delay(1000) produced a delay of 8000ms, solved by flashing it with board attiny84 @ 1 MHz ... :-P