I can turn a digital pin HIGH which would connect the XBee and Recieve Pin, and turn the pin LOW which would disconnect the XBee from the Receiver pin allowing communication between the computer and Arduino.
Should this library fix my problems? : http://arduiniana.org/libraries/newsoftserial/
but it would a lot easier just to use software serial for the XBee.
Just hook up the Xbee to two digital pins, say 2 and 3, and talk to it using SoftwareSerial or NewSoftwareSerial.