Pages: [1]   Go Down
Author Topic: Geek gags  (Read 1691 times)
0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.
Global Moderator
UK
Offline Offline
Brattain Member
*****
Karma: 290
Posts: 25730
I don't think you connected the grounds, Dave.
View Profile
 Bigger Bigger  Smaller Smaller  Reset Reset

The best thing about a boolean is even if you are wrong, you are only off by a bit. (Anonymous)

Without requirements or design, programming is the art of adding bugs to an empty text file. (Louis Srygley)

Before software can be reusable it first has to be usable. (Ralph Johnson)

The best method for accelerating a computer is the one that boosts it by 9.8 m/s2. (Anonymous)

I think Microsoft named .Net so it wouldn’t show up in a Unix directory listing. (Oktal)

If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization. (Gerald Weinberg)

There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third one works. (Alan J. Perlis)

Ready, fire, aim: the fast approach to software development. Ready, aim, aim, aim, aim: the slow approach to software development. (Anonymous)

It’s not a bug – it’s an undocumented feature. (Anonymous)

One man’s crappy software is another man’s full time job. (Jessica Gaston)

A good programmer is someone who always looks both ways before crossing a one-way street. (Doug Linder)

Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live. (Martin Golding

Programming is like sex. One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life. (Michael Sinz)

Deleted code is debugged code. (Jeff Sickel)

Walking on water and developing software from a specification are easy if both are frozen. (Edward V Berard)

If debugging is the process of removing software bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in. (Edsger Dijkstra)

Software undergoes beta testing shortly before it’s released. Beta is Latin for “still doesn’t work. (Anonymous)

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the universe is winning. (Rick Cook)

It’s a curious thing about our industry: not only do we not learn from our mistakes, we also don’t learn from our successes. (Keith Braithwaite)

There are only two kinds of programming languages: those people always bitch about and those nobody uses. (Bjarne Stroustrup)

In order to understand recursion, one must first understand recursion. (Anonymous)

The cheapest, fastest, and most reliable components are those that aren’t there. (Gordon Bell)

The best performance improvement is the transition from the nonworking state to the working state. (J. Osterhout)

The trouble with programmers is that you can never tell what a programmer is doing until it’s too late. (Seymour Cray)

Don’t worry if it doesn’t work right. If everything did, you’d be out of a job. (Mosher’s Law of Software Engineering)

Fast. Cheap. Reliable. Pick two.
« Last Edit: March 22, 2011, 05:43:18 am by AWOL » Logged

"Pete, it's a fool looks for logic in the chambers of the human heart." Ulysses Everett McGill.
Do not send technical questions via personal messaging - they will be ignored.

North Yorkshire, UK
Offline Offline
Faraday Member
**
Karma: 104
Posts: 5531
View Profile
 Bigger Bigger  Smaller Smaller  Reset Reset

smiley
Logged

nr Bundaberg, Australia
Offline Offline
Tesla Member
***
Karma: 126
Posts: 8471
Scattered showers my arse -- Noah, 2348BC.
View Profile
WWW
 Bigger Bigger  Smaller Smaller  Reset Reset

Funny, I've heard some but not others. I like the recursion one best I think.

______
Rob
Logged

Rob Gray aka the GRAYnomad www.robgray.com

Denver
Offline Offline
God Member
*****
Karma: 20
Posts: 778
Inactive - PM
View Profile
WWW
 Bigger Bigger  Smaller Smaller  Reset Reset

Hofstadter's Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law.
(Douglas Hofstadter - "Gödel, Escher, Bach: An Eternal Golden Braid")

(a hell of a book)
Logged

"Data is not information, information is not knowledge, knowledge is not understanding, understanding is not wisdom."
~ Clifford Stoll

Phoenix, Arizona USA
Offline Offline
Faraday Member
**
Karma: 39
Posts: 5551
Where's the beer?
View Profile
WWW
 Bigger Bigger  Smaller Smaller  Reset Reset

Hofstadter's Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law.
(Douglas Hofstadter - "Gödel, Escher, Bach: An Eternal Golden Braid")

Currently in the middle of reading it! Excellent, so far - even if some of it is a bit above my head (actually, I think I would understand it better if I sat down and wrote out a bunch of the stuff; as is, I am having to do it all "in my head", as the book is my bedtime reading). I'm really enjoying it.

(a hell of a book)

Understatement of the year? Actually, it's likely simpler than "House of Leaves", which one of these days I intend to tackle (I'll probably fail miserably at it, though!)...

smiley
Logged

I will not respond to Arduino help PM's from random forum users; if you have such a question, start a new topic thread.

North Carolina, USA
Offline Offline
Full Member
***
Karma: 1
Posts: 137
:O Arduino!
View Profile
 Bigger Bigger  Smaller Smaller  Reset Reset

Quote
The best thing about a boolean is even if you are wrong, you are only off by a bit.
  smiley-lol
Logged

0
Offline Offline
Edison Member
*
Karma: 8
Posts: 1411
Arduino rocks
View Profile
WWW
 Bigger Bigger  Smaller Smaller  Reset Reset

I will add them to my Wise Clock smiley
Logged

Offline Offline
Full Member
***
Karma: 11
Posts: 147
View Profile
 Bigger Bigger  Smaller Smaller  Reset Reset

There's 10 kinds of people -- those who use binary and those who don't.
Logged

nr Bundaberg, Australia
Offline Offline
Tesla Member
***
Karma: 126
Posts: 8471
Scattered showers my arse -- Noah, 2348BC.
View Profile
WWW
 Bigger Bigger  Smaller Smaller  Reset Reset

We used to have a "two two and a half" law

Everything will take twice as long as you thought
Everything will cost twice as much as you thought
Everything will earn you half as much as you thought


______
Rob

 
Logged

Rob Gray aka the GRAYnomad www.robgray.com

Nowhere
Offline Offline
God Member
*****
Karma: 3
Posts: 852
|-\ |\|\
View Profile
 Bigger Bigger  Smaller Smaller  Reset Reset

Why do programmers (mathematicians, etc) get halloween and christmas confused?

Because 31 OCT = 25 DEC
Logged

Soundcloud page: http://soundcloud.com/beefinator-2
Youtube channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/beefinator14
Old soundcloud page (ran out o

Pages: [1]   Go Up
Jump to: