...I got it to "fit" by soldering wires to the pins and letting it float upside down above the board...
The official technical term for that is the "dead bug" technique. I use a tiny spot of hot-melt glue to stabilize it. (Hot-melt glue is the electronics assembly equivalent of duct tape.)
....simple part like the 4050 with fewer than 16 pins. Do you know of one?
I don't know of any.
Note that I don't actually object to the use of a 3.3 Volt part that is specified as "5 Volt tolerant," and I think that there is always a reason that people do things. I was just wondering...