I found my answer here with bperrybap's i2cLCDguesser sketch which after 8 guesses came up with the right answer to run my LCD with the small i2c backpack. You can follow the full thread here: http://forum.arduino.cc/index.php?topic=196991.new;topicseen#new
I also have another i2c backpack on it's way from China, so I may well have to do it all again, but at least this time I will know how to sort it, I hope!
f you want, you can run my i2cLCDguesser sketch and it will walk through many of the
more common pin/wiring possibilities and you will see what the constructor parameters need
to be on the LCD display when the "guess" is finally correct.
Here is a link to the thread with the guesser sketch:http://forum.arduino.cc//index.php?topic=157817.msg1235230#msg1235230
Just remember that this sketch uses fm's LiquidCrystal library.
Instructions for using the sketch are in the sketch itself.