Yikes! Sounds like the ISP gods are very unhappy with you
I'm afraid that I cannot offer any advice. I can only say again that my Uno board no longer requires that autoreset be disabled when programming with ArduinoISP. Before I flashed the chip with the new version of optiboot, my Uno board would not work without physically disabling autoreset. I have only used ArduinoISP to program ATmega328P chips, though.
Where can we find the latest version of optiboot and how to flash it to the Uno board?
(I'm going to try with my board as is because I have just bought it so it might be new but just in case it's an old one)