when trying to do an OTA update of an ESP8266 via WiFi, a WiFi port is supposed to appear in the list of Serial Ports. And often it does but often it does not. Most often the only way to make it appear is to close the IDE and restart it. There should be a Refresh Ports feature that, when selected, re-searches for WiFi ports.
even better, an option to enter the IP address, because not always it is possible to have mdns on board