Well let's talk about the diagram on the arduino site, is that like looking at the parallel port on my computer or the connections on the male header? I suppose they're the same...
If I mirror the connections, I get mostly the same results, the uisp dialog looks like it's flashing things but it's really not, the LED doesn't blink or dim. If I revert to plugging in my wires exactly like the diagram on the site, with the 220Ohm wire going into pin 41 in the upper left, I get the same dialogs and errors, but the LED flashes. Though I realize nothing is getting flashed any more than if the wires are plugged in improperly.
Just to clarify, the pin to the right of pin 1 on the ICSP header isn't supposed to be connected to anything?
I'm getting frustrated to the point of just buying a damn Diecimila and counting my 15 dollars towards two ATMEGA168s as a loss.