ApacheOmega:
How do I know I have a good COM port cause it seems if it knows my device is there
Unplug the Arduino. Check the Tools > Serial Port menu and take note of anything currently listed. Plug it in, and check the menu again. The new one would be the correct one.
and as far as the problem with my laptop how do I get it to recognize that its even hooked up?
Try re-installing the drivers.