Power_Broker:
I just described it to you, lol. You just have to make it.
See attached schematic.
You have to be joking! The rectified 240 V mains will be directly connected across the 5V zener. This will put very high current through the bridge rectifier and the zener and either the zener or the bridge will fail; probably with a loud bang. If the zener fails then the capacitor and resistor will see the rectified mains and something else will give once again probably with a load bang.
This whole circuit is so silly and dangerous that I have to question your sanity and qualifications.