I think you had good instincts to try the reset button during the upload. The tricky thing is that you need to get the timing of the reset just right. For that reason, I suggest you try it again, following the instructions below, just to be sure:
In order to upload, the bootloader needs to be activated. This is done by resetting the microcontroller. However, the bootloader only runs for a short time before timing out and switching to running your sketch. Normally, we have an auto-reset circuit set up that resets the microcontroller at just the right time during the upload. When you don't have that auto-reset, and are resetting manually, you need to get the timing right. If you press the reset button too early, the bootloader will have already timed out by the time the upload starts. The tricky thing is that when you press the "Upload" button in the Arduino IDE, it first compiles your sketch before starting the actual upload. So you need to wait until after the compilation finishes before pressing the reset button. The way to get the timing right is to watch the black console window at the bottom of the Arduino IDE window. As soon as you see something like this:
Sketch uses 444 bytes (1%) of program storage space. Maximum is 30720 bytes.
Global variables use 9 bytes (0%) of dynamic memory, leaving 2039 bytes for local variables. Maximum is 2048 bytes.
press and release the reset button.