Anyway, when I wired only the VSS and the VDD from the LCD to my arduino (just making sure the LCD worked) it didnt come alive, not a sign, so, I suppose it must be broken.
You have to do something with the contrast pin in order to determine if the LCD is 'working'. If you leave it disconnected it will 'float' and the resulting voltage at pin 3 will probably be a lot more than the required 0.4 volts (see reply # 10). Your LCD will then be blank and will appear to be 'dead'.
The best approach is:
(1) Get the backlight working properly. This involves only pins 15 and 16 on your LCD module.
(2) Get the power and contrast working properly. This involves pins 1, 2, and 3 on your LCD module.
The Arduino has not been used yet, except as a possible source for the power needed for the first two steps.
(3) Connect the LCD R/W pin (pin 5) to GND.
(4) Connect the six control and data wires between your LCD module and your Arduino.
(5) Upload your sketch and it should work.
Don