To OP: what you need is "continuity sensor". IC I've linked above, is good example how to do such things, not "working manual" like on instructables. Continuity testing usually works by passing a small amount of current throw a load, if nothing connected than no current and voltage goes up. If load connected, voltage drops to zero, or close. Details depends on voltage level, resistance of load, would define if you need filtering out AC using caps, or if you need logic "timer", schmidt trigger , comparator etc. How you gonna switch speaker off, using relay or just "mute" sound?BTW, arduino could greatly simplify design, sending "mute" command via IR remote control, if thee is any