Why everything in bold? Please don't try to scream and edit your post.
And why are you adding a mains switch to the system then? Just use a switch as an input to the Arduino and make it also toggle the corresponding output. That's easier then adding a 2-way switch. And if you say a 2-way switch is more fail safe that is barely true. The ONLY way that's fail safe is if the Arduino does nothing at all. But a bug that interferes with the 2-way switch (because of the feed back) is as likely making it NOT fail safe by default.
And if you really want to check mains, use a opto coupler (and a bridge rectifyer and current limiting). BUT it will consume energy. If you use only resistors to drive the opto at only 5mA that will be ore then 1W (@230V). You could use a capacitive dropper to drive it but that will add reactive power to the system aka messes with the power factor. And n both cases, you DO mess with mains so make sure you have proper isolation etc. Not really something for a prototype PCB.