the one to disable SPI programming.
2. The SPIEN Fuse is not accessible in serial programming mode.
on my pcb, i left the D13,D12,D11"SCK, MISO, MOSI"vnot connected anywhere else ISP to not interfere with it, but in my original arduino board it was a tiny SMD Crystal oscillator 16Mhz, and in my custom pcb i change the oscillator to THT one one but also 16Mhz with to 22pf capacitors, so could it be that changing the Crystal oscillators make my problem?also that my programmer is a "FTDI" with another arduino pro mini that i program it from arduino sketch "arduino ISP example" than i cut the reset pin form Arduino pro mini to prevent it from resetting it self when uploading new sketch to my atmeg328p on my custom pcb(it is right to make a programmer like that?)i can share with schematic for my programmer if it's necessary.