The "proper" way of controlling fan speed would be to use a 3-phase fans (208-230V up to 460V), and control them with a VFD (variable frequency drive). There are a lot of good drives available inexpensively, but they generally don't work with single-phase induction motors (due to the starting circuit in the single phase motor, and the fact that single phase, with 120 0-volt crossings per second, can't be held at low speeds easily). I'm sure that isn't what you want to hear, since it involves two parts you don't have (3-phase motors and VFDs).
The upside is that with the right AC motor, modern VFDs are super-cool, and automate a lot of what you want to do. You can get cheaper ones on Ebay, but here is a link to a commercial version:
http://www.automationdirect.com/adc/Shopping/Catalog/Drives/GS1_%28120_-z-_230_VAC_V-z-Hz_Control%29/GS1_Drive_Units_%28120_-z-_230_VAC%29/GS1-10P2 - Linked not as an endorsement, just that Automation Direct has a lot of good documentation about their products so it is a good way to learn about VFDs in general. eBay is another good source of used VFDs, and cheap Chinese units (the Huanyang brand is cheap, slightly dubious, and well documented by CNC hobbyists).
They work by rectifying your input power (either 120V single phase, up to 230V single phase) to DC, then using a variable frequency inverter (IGBT based, usually) to send a three-phase, variable voltage, variable output frequency to the induction motor, simulating a sine wave by chopping a DC signal at high frequency. The nice thing about modern VFDs is that they are relatively inexpensive, let you choose motors that don't match your power source phase or voltage (giving you more motor options), very efficient, and generally have full serial communication and control, allowing you to both set speed, and request information, like current speed, load %, current, etc. Makes it easy to interact with.
There are probably OSHW methods to create a VFD, but you'd be working with a high voltage DC-bus, and fast switching IGBTs, certainly out of my range of experience. Maybe someone else knows about some comparable projects.
-Sam