qwertymodo:
Just to clarify, the cap is between +5v and RST on the Arduino being used as the ISP ... correct?
Not correct. (Sorry I missed that in your earlier post.) The capacitor goes from RESET to GND (after uploading the ArduinoISP sketch).
When using a (120 ohm) resistor to disable auto-reset, the resistor is connected from RESET to +5V.