massive breakthrough:
i bough new fuses and replaced the old fuses in my multimeter, i started some tests and i noticed that there was no flow at all.
to be sure i hooked up a 220 ohm resistor and a led, to the power lines on the breadboard. when i powered the circuit from arduino it didnt do anything, no led was going on.
now when i changed the power jumper wires from the arduino to the breadboard ... led led went onn! now that is exciting 
anyway i took a closer look at the jumper wires and noticed that one of the pins on the black jumper has broken off and was not connected in the inside rubber end.
now i hooked up the backlight circuit of the lcd and powered arduino: lcd backlight works just fine!
so you guys were correct from the beginning: my connections failed!
anyway ill let you know when i got the lcd working and i will never doubt anybody's opinion here ever! :3
thanks alot for all efford, and sorry for being a bit frustrated..
nick