turns out i'm an idiot and they do have part numbers on them , sorry for wasting peoples time
The part number was not on the back..but it is there . for anyone who may get some use out of this I have 5161AS which are common cathode and 5161BS which are common cathode
Basically what you do is to apply 5V to each pair of pins via the resistor and note which, if any, segments light until you find a common pin, either 5V or GND that allows all of the other segments to light when the opposite voltage is applied
You could write a sketch to do it but can probably do it manually faster than you could write and test the sketch depending on your programming skills
Even better. I avoided suggesting that, as I do not know whether @ZoeBell has a multimeter but if she is using a 7 segment display she must have at least one current limiting resistor