I had the same problem but what worked for me is to reset everything and connect everything now make sure you are using ESP32S3 Dev Module and connected to the correct port
Manually Reset the ESP32-S3
Sometimes, manually resetting the board can help:
Press and hold the "BOOT" button on the ESP32-S3.
Press the "EN" (reset) button while still holding "BOOT".
Release the "EN" button first, then release the "BOOT" button after a second.
if there is a test program on esp32 of RGB light where it turns on all colors or similar lights, you will see after you have done this that it turns red, meaning that it has gone, and you will also see that your port was changed for me If you do it in the beginning, I had that problem on COM17. After the reset it becomes COM19, so pay attention to that too
if your ESP32S3 dev module is not included in boards make sure you download via this link and make sure you follow that instruction the link:
Update
watch this video if the above things didn't work
link : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rWpuTCoPGaU
for the people who are afraid to press the link:
the video says that while uploading when those points start coming you have to press the boot button until those points stop and then it works fine