A Masterful Rant on PHP as a Language

I've written PHP. Not a lot. While I never thought of it as an awful language, neither did I ever hold it in the same regard as C or Fortran. I considered it to be useful, but I never did get into "The Zone", where code just flows. Aside from irritations such as the inconsistency of language constructs vs. functions, and documentation which I generally found poorly written, I never thought much about it, chalking it up mostly to the fact that I wasn't spending gobs of time with it. But I did notice that I was spending more time beating my head against the language itself than was typical. As I'm not trained in the "academic" construction of programming languages, I lack the sort of framework necessary to describe the sorts of things that determine whether a language is ... well, I don't even know what the proper adjectives to use would be. But now, here's this detailed critique of PHP, which does all of that so well, and I'm reading and just nodding my head over and over again. See, I wouldn't spend time on something like this; I'd just plow ahead and get the programming finished. And now I'm thinking I don't want to ever touch PHP again unless I have to, because I realize that my unease with it isn't just me bemoaning having to come to grips with the idiosyncrasies of yet another programming language.

PHP: a fractal of bad design

And now I'm thinking I don't want to ever touch PHP again unless I have to