Well I didnt give up guys...
and I got it working..
I re-checked the 4 wires I 'do' have on there.. and they were correct..
so I read some posts.. and started to give it some more 'tries' and adjusting my 'manual' reset button timing..and I got it working!
So thanks to everyone who replied..
my only/last question is.. (two parter) =)
a.) how can I go about finding the RESET pad to solder a wire to? and when it just goes to pin1 right? same as the manual reset button?
b.) what would a possible 6th wire be used for?? (I see some have 6?)
Thanks