Arduino + Relay Explanation

The Arduino can drive 40 ma.

Not quite, this is the absolute maximum current. Sustained operation at this current will cause damage to the arduino's output pin. It says so in the data sheet.

t means, when arduino shuts down, also the relay will turn off the A/C device?

Yes that is correct.

Isnt there any relay that keeps its state (on or off) regardless of being connected to arduino/power supply

Not an electronic one. You can get mechanical relays that do this these are known as latching relays