Update ...
I have tested my idea using the Uno R3 - and that works
And I realized - that if this works using rs232 - it could probably also work using a wireless serial protocol - with some adaptation to the sketch off course - but first i need to go back to the standalone 328p and figure out why that was not working as an isp
To be continued ...
Some more info for those that want to do the same sort of thing ... what works so far:
Arduino ide 1.0.3 on a mac
pl2303 usb to rs232 serial converter
max232 (rs232 to ttl) converter hooked up to tx/rx on a
arduino uno r3 clone, battery fed with 4xAA rechargable battery @ 5v, running the ArduinoISP sketch (adafruit fork)
connected to the target - a 328p
The sketch I am uploading is a customised blink sketch - the rate of the led is changed to show the sketch reached the destination 
hmmm - no inline youtube movies?