Asking for directions

If asking for directions to walk to a place was on an Internet technical forum.

"Well I wouldn't start from here"

"Catch a bus, the driver will know"

"Why do you want to go there xxx is better"

"You are using the wrong shoes, try £5000 worth of wellingtons"

"My friend once walked to somewhere else"

"Don't walk trains are better"

"Turn right before you get to the bridge"

"Never heard of xxx "

"Read the f%£%%$g map!"

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Then again, the question would be:

"Tell me how I should go."
(...go where?)

"My manager/supervisor/teacher tells me to walk to Alaska. I want you guys to carry me."

"I've already told you ten times I don't intend to get out of my chair. You tell me how to get to the supermarket without leaving my house. It's a simple question, isn't it? Why don't you just do as I ask??"

"I've heard that with these sneakers you can run a marathon. The furthest I've ever walked on any other pair of shoes is from my comfy chair to the fridge. Tell me how to tie the laces on these new sneakers so I can start to fly."

"McDonalds."
(...sorry, what do you mean exactly?)
"McDonalds!! McDonalds!!!!"

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