Try ZH line of JST connectors.
1.5mm pitch, SMT or thruhole.
Then just use an adapter for the ICSP programmer.
The thru holes end up narrower due to not having side wings to help secure them on the board.
10.5mm vs 12mm width needed.
These are 2 eagle libraries I created for vertical headers (if I grabbed the correct files).
Another advantage of thru hole - you can put the connectors on the bottom of the board, mount the SMT parts on the other side, and free up a lot board space.
This particular board has a part that needs heatsinking, the mechanical engineer has the casing that goes underneath all set up so the hot part mounts against the case.
This board has a 6-pin 1.5mm SMT, you can see the legs that stick out and one of the mounting ears on side.
Also seen are 2 pin and 4 pin thru hole parts. The thru hole crystal makes for a good size comparison.
JST-1_5mm.lbr (6.35 KB)
JST_6-PIN_1.5MM_SMT.lbr (6.77 KB)